So this blog is supposed to be about me living life more fully and blah blah blah, whatever whatever whatever. And I've been thinking a lot about these things that scare me.
I'm definitely afraid of losing people. I know this about myself, and my tendency to hold on too tightly. I sometimes feel like my time with people is limited, because at some point something will make me not as necessary in their life.
I'm kind of afraid of driving on ice. Snow doesn't scare me but black ice is scary as crap.
I'm scared of dishonesty, with myself and with or from others. It makes me so uneasy once I've found out someone's lied to me, or that someone doesn't feel they can trust me as much. This is probably, or most definitely, not something that is unique to me, but still it's a big fear. I'd much rather hear something I don't want to if it's honest, than hear something I did that was a lie.
I'm scared of failure, specifically in college. I'm also scared I'll fail to ever write a song again. I haven't in probably about a half a year now, and it's really worrying me.
But, probably most of all, I'm afraid I won't live up to my potential. And I know that's probably only something I can control but that's what scares me even more. That I've got all these opportunities and I'll just waste them. And I'll miss out on a lot more because I get in my own way, and I'll lose out on great relationships with people I should've been closest to.
I really hope that that fear never comes true, and I just get better at this whole "being who I am thing". O feel like I could get there, sometime soon, if I could get over all those other fears, too.
Except for driving on ice. That might just be something you have to afraid of for your own sake.
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