Back in the day.

Excuse the poorly created title.

But, I realize that sometimes I come off as rude. Or crass, or obnoxious or just too silly to ever be taken seriously. And I've been thinking a lot about this lately.

When I was about 15 I took a French II class. This was probably one of the easiest classes I've ever ever ever taken. The teacher, for the final, basically handed us out a copy to practice with and had TONS of extra credit. How much?

Well, I finished that class with over 200%. So. A lot. 

After the final was taken, and handed back and we were pretty much just wasting days until summer. I had gotten over 100% on both of the finals she had handed out and pretty much was chillaxing. Then, one day, she called me out of her classroom.

I automatically thought I was in deep trouble. I hadn't done anything wrong. Honestly, in high school I was probably one of the cleanest kids you'd ever met. BUT whenever I was called down to the office, or called out of class, or had a teacher who wanted to speak with me, I ALWAYS assumed it was bad. That somehow, they had caught me doing something wrong, even if I hadn't at all. 

So anyway, she called me out and looks at me and says "Sam, you are so smart. But you act SO stupid! Why is that?"

And I did not have an answer for her. I think I told her something like it's just more fun that way or something and she told me something like don't be afraid to show your intelligence or something and sent me on my way.

Usually, about this time in the story, you'd think to hear something like "And then I realized that I didn't have to be funny for everyone to like me, I could be smart too." BUT ACTUALLY, I was pissed. I have set up my life so that I'd be able to have a great time, goofing off, clowning around, and still being able to get good grades and use my intelligence as needed. I was pretty much ok with this, and still am to be honest. I love that I can be silly. I love that I'm weird and approachable and absolutely willing to make a fool of myself. And then, when and if necessary, use whatever intelligence I might have, if any. 

This helps people to know the really important things to me. When I actually start being passionate and serious about something, it means much more. And most times people are pleasantly surprised to see that, and I love surprising people.

But I've also realized that the other 90% of the time, I probably appear very closed off to meaningful conversation, or actual relationships. And maybe this is something I need to change. 

So while I appreciate my goofy demeanor, learned from great characters such as "Bugs Bunny" or ya know... "Goofy", I do realize that it might be time for me to mature a little bit, and see that it's alright to be serious, even when first meeting people, as well. 

Lame? Maybe.

Here's to hoping I'm not just a sell out.